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Two and a Half Men Seasons and Full Episodes
Find and watch each season of Two and a Half Men with full episode synopsis, actors, related videos, and more. Click on a season and episode below for more information.
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 12
Episode 1
The Ol' Mexican Spinach
10/30/2014
Episode 2
A Chic Bar in Ibiza
11/6/2014
Episode 3
Glamping in a Yurt
11/13/2014
Episode 4
Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
11/20/2014
Episode 5
Oontz, Oontz, Oontz
11/27/2014
Episode 6
Alan Shot a Little Girl
12/4/2014
Episode 7
Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
12/11/2014
Episode 8
Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey
12/18/2014
Episode 9
Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
1/8/2015
Episode 10
Here I Come, Pants!
1/15/2015
Episode 11
For Whom the Booty Calls
1/22/2015
Episode 12
A Beer Battered Rip-Off
1/29/2015
Episode 13
Boompa Loved His Hookers
2/5/2015
Episode 14
Don’t Give a Monkey a Gun
2/12/2015
Episode 15
Of Course He's Dead (1)
2/19/2015
Episode 16
Of Course He's Dead (2)
2/19/2015
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 11
Episode 1
Nangnangnangnang
9/26/2013
Episode 2
I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
10/3/2013
Episode 3
This Unblessed Biscuit
10/10/2013
Episode 4
Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
10/17/2013
Episode 5
Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
10/24/2013
Episode 6
Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
11/7/2013
Episode 7
Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
11/14/2013
Episode 8
Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
11/21/2013
Episode 9
Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
12/5/2013
Episode 10
On Vodka, On Soda, On Blender, On Mixer!
12/12/2013
Episode 11
Tazed In the Lady Nuts
1/2/2014
Episode 12
Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
1/9/2014
Episode 13
Bite Me, Supreme Court
1/30/2014
Episode 14
Three Fingers of Creme De Menthe
2/6/2014
Episode 15
Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
2/27/2014
Episode 16
How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
3/6/2014
Episode 17
Welcome Home, Jake
3/13/2014
Episode 18
West Side Story
4/3/2014
Episode 19
Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang
4/10/2014
Episode 20
Lotta Delis In Little Armenia
4/24/2014
Episode 21
Dial 1-900-Mix-a-Lot
5/1/2014
Episode 22
Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
5/8/2014
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 10
Episode 1
I Changed My Mind About the Milk
9/27/2012
Episode 2
A Big Bag of Dog
10/4/2012
Episode 3
Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
10/11/2012
Episode 4
You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For
10/18/2012
Episode 5
That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
10/25/2012
Episode 6
Ferrets, Attack
11/1/2012
Episode 7
Avoid the Chinese Mustard
11/8/2012
Episode 8
Something My Gynecologist Said
11/15/2012
Episode 9
I Scream When I Pee
11/29/2012
Episode 10
One Nut Johnson
12/6/2012
Episode 11
Give Santa a Tail-Hole
12/13/2012
Episode 12
Welcome to Alancrest
1/3/2013
Episode 13
Grab a Feather and Get in Line
1/10/2013
Episode 14
Run, Steven Staven! Run!
1/31/2013
Episode 15
Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
2/7/2013
Episode 16
Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
2/14/2013
Episode 17
Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
2/21/2013
Episode 18
The 9:04 from Pemberton
3/7/2013
Episode 19
Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon
3/14/2013
Episode 20
Bazinga! That's from a TV Show
4/4/2013
Episode 21
Another Night with Neil Diamond
4/25/2013
Episode 22
My Bodacious Vidalia
5/2/2013
Episode 23
Cows, Prepare to be Tipped
5/9/2013
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 9
Episode 1
Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
9/19/2011
Episode 2
People Who Love Peepholes
9/26/2011
Episode 3
Big Girls Don't Throw Food
10/3/2011
Episode 4
Nine Magic Fingers
10/10/2011
Episode 5
A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
10/17/2011
Episode 6
The Squat and the Hover
10/24/2011
Episode 7
Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
10/31/2011
Episode 8
Thank You for the Intercourse
11/7/2011
Episode 9
Frodo's Headshots
11/14/2011
Episode 10
A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
11/21/2011
Episode 11
What a Lovely Landing Strip
12/5/2011
Episode 12
One False Move, Zimbabwe!
12/12/2011
Episode 13
Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
1/2/2012
Episode 14
A Possum On Chemo
1/16/2012
Episode 15
The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
2/6/2012
Episode 16
Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
2/13/2012
Episode 17
Not in My Mouth!
2/20/2012
Episode 18
The War Against Gingivitis
2/27/2012
Episode 19
Palmdale, Ech
3/19/2012
Episode 20
Grandma's Pie
4/9/2012
Episode 21
Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'
4/16/2012
Episode 22
Why We Gave Up Women
4/30/2012
Episode 23
The Straw in My Donut Hole
5/7/2012
Episode 24
Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
5/14/2012
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 8
Episode 1
Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
9/20/2010
Episode 2
A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
9/27/2010
Episode 3
A Pudding-Filled Cactus
10/4/2010
Episode 4
Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
10/11/2010
Episode 5
The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
10/18/2010
Episode 6
Twanging Your Magic Clanger
10/25/2010
Episode 7
The Crazy Bitch Gazette
11/1/2010
Episode 8
Springtime on a Stick
11/8/2010
Episode 9
A Good Time in Central Africa
11/15/2010
Episode 10
Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
11/22/2010
Episode 11
Dead from the Waist Down
12/6/2010
Episode 12
Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
12/13/2010
Episode 13
Skunk, Dogcrap and Ketchup
1/3/2011
Episode 14
Lookin' for Japanese Subs
1/17/2011
Episode 15
Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
2/7/2011
Episode 16
That Darn Priest
2/14/2011
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 7
Episode 1
818-JKLPUZO
9/21/2009
Episode 2
Whipped Unto the Third Generation
9/28/2009
Episode 3
Mmm, Fish. Yum.
10/5/2009
Episode 4
Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
10/12/2009
Episode 5
For the Sake of the Child
10/19/2009
Episode 6
Give Me Your Thumb
11/2/2009
Episode 7
Untainted By Filth
11/9/2009
Episode 8
Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
11/16/2009
Episode 9
Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
11/23/2009
Episode 10
That's Why They Call It Ball Room
12/7/2009
Episode 11
Warning, It's Dirty
12/15/2009
Episode 12
Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
1/11/2010
Episode 13
Yay, No Polyps!
1/18/2010
Episode 14
Crude and Uncalled For
2/1/2010
Episode 15
Aye, Aye, Captain Douche
2/8/2010
Episode 16
Tinkle Like a Princess
3/1/2010
Episode 17
I Found Your Moustache
3/8/2010
Episode 18
Ixnay on the Oggie Day
3/22/2010
Episode 19
Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
4/12/2010
Episode 20
I Called Him Magoo
5/10/2010
Episode 21
Gumby with a Pokey
5/17/2010
Episode 22
This Is Not Gonna End Well
5/24/2010
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 6
Episode 1
Taterhead Is Our Love Child
9/22/2008
Episode 2
Pie Hole, Herb
9/29/2008
Episode 3
Damn You, Eggs Benedict
10/6/2008
Episode 4
The Flavin' and the Mavin'
10/13/2008
Episode 5
A Jock Strap in Hell
10/20/2008
Episode 6
It's Always Nazi Week
11/3/2008
Episode 7
Best H.O. Money Can Buy
11/10/2008
Episode 8
Pinocchio's Mouth
11/17/2008
Episode 9
The Mooch at the Boo
11/24/2008
Episode 10
He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
12/8/2008
Episode 11
The Devil's Lube
12/15/2008
Episode 12
Thank God for Scoliosis
1/12/2009
Episode 13
I Think You Offended Don
1/19/2009
Episode 14
David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
2/2/2009
Episode 15
I'd Like to Start with the Cat
2/9/2009
Episode 16
She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime
3/2/2009
Episode 17
The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?
3/9/2009
Episode 18
My Son's Enormous Head
3/16/2009
Episode 19
The Two Finger Rule
3/30/2009
Episode 20
Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau
4/13/2009
Episode 21
Above Exalted Cyclops
4/27/2009
Episode 22
Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
5/4/2009
Episode 23
Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
5/11/2009
Episode 24
Baseball Was Better With Steroids
5/18/2009
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 5
Episode 1
Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
9/24/2007
Episode 2
Media Room Slash Dungeon
10/1/2007
Episode 3
Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
10/8/2007
Episode 4
City of Great Racks
10/15/2007
Episode 5
Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
10/23/2007
Episode 6
Help Daddy Find His Toenail
10/30/2007
Episode 7
The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
11/5/2007
Episode 8
Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
11/12/2007
Episode 9
Tight's Good
11/19/2007
Episode 10
Kinda Like Necrophilia
11/26/2007
Episode 11
Meander to Your Dander
3/17/2008
Episode 12
A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
3/24/2008
Episode 13
The Soil Is Moist
3/31/2008
Episode 14
Winky-Dink Time
4/14/2008
Episode 15
Rough Night In Hump Junction
4/21/2008
Episode 16
Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
4/28/2008
Episode 17
Fish in a Drawer
5/5/2008
Episode 18
If My Hole Could Talk
5/12/2008
Episode 19
Waiting for the Right Snapper
5/19/2008
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 4
Episode 1
Working for Caligula
9/18/2006
Episode 2
Who's Vod Kanockers?
9/25/2006
Episode 3
The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
10/2/2006
Episode 4
A Pot Smoking Monkey
10/9/2006
Episode 5
A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
10/16/2006
Episode 6
Apologies for the Frivolity
10/23/2006
Episode 7
Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
11/6/2006
Episode 8
Release the Dogs
11/13/2006
Episode 9
Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
11/20/2006
Episode 10
Kissing Abe Lincoln
11/27/2006
Episode 11
Walnuts and Demerol
12/11/2006
Episode 12
Castrating Sheep in Montana
1/8/2007
Episode 13
Don't Worry, Speed Racer
1/22/2007
Episode 14
That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
2/5/2007
Episode 15
My Damn Stalker
2/12/2007
Episode 16
Young People Have Phlegm Too
2/19/2007
Episode 17
I Merely Slept with a Commie
2/26/2007
Episode 18
It Never Rains in Hooterville
3/19/2007
Episode 19
Smooth as a Ken Doll
4/9/2007
Episode 20
Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
4/16/2007
Episode 21
Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
4/23/2007
Episode 22
Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
4/30/2007
Episode 23
Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin
5/7/2007
Episode 24
Prostitutes and Gelato
5/14/2007
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3
Episode 1
Weekend In Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
9/19/2005
Episode 2
Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
9/26/2005
Episode 3
Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
10/3/2005
Episode 4
Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
10/10/2005
Episode 5
We Called It Mr. Pinky
10/17/2005
Episode 6
Hi, Mr. Horned One
10/24/2005
Episode 7
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
11/7/2005
Episode 8
That Voodoo That I Do Do
11/14/2005
Episode 9
Madame and Her Special Friend
11/21/2005
Episode 10
Something Salted and Twisted
11/28/2005
Episode 11
Santa's Village of the Damned
12/19/2005
Episode 12
That Special Tug
1/9/2006
Episode 13
Humiliation is a visual medium
1/23/2006
Episode 14
Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
2/6/2006
Episode 15
My Tongue is Meat
2/27/2006
Episode 16
Ergo, the Booty Call
3/6/2006
Episode 17
The Unfortunate Little Schnauser
3/13/2006
Episode 18
The Spit-Covered Cobbler
3/20/2006
Episode 19
Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
4/10/2006
Episode 20
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
4/24/2006
Episode 21
And the Plot Moistens
5/1/2006
Episode 22
Just Once With Aunt Sophie
5/8/2006
Episode 23
Arguments for the Quickie
5/15/2006
Episode 24
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
5/22/2006
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 2
Episode 1
Back Off, Mary Poppins
9/20/2004
Episode 2
Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
9/27/2004
Episode 3
A Bag Full of Jawea
10/4/2004
Episode 4
Go Get Mommy's Bra
10/11/2004
Episode 5
Bad News from the Clinic?
10/18/2004
Episode 6
The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
10/25/2004
Episode 7
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
11/8/2004
Episode 8
Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
11/15/2004
Episode 9
Yes, Monsignor
11/22/2004
Episode 10
The Salmon Under My Sweater
11/29/2004
Episode 11
Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
12/13/2004
Episode 12
A Lungful of Alan
1/3/2005
Episode 13
Zejdz Z Moich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)
1/17/2005
Episode 14
Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
1/31/2005
Episode 15
Smell the Umbrella Stand
2/7/2005
Episode 16
Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
2/14/2005
Episode 17
Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!
2/21/2005
Episode 18
It Was 'Mame', Mom
3/7/2005
Episode 19
A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
3/21/2005
Episode 20
I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
4/18/2005
Episode 21
A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
5/2/2005
Episode 22
That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
5/9/2005
Episode 23
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
5/16/2005
Episode 24
Does This Smell Funny to You?
5/23/2005
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 1
Episode 1
Pilot (Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal)
9/22/2003
Episode 2
Big Flappy Bastards
9/29/2003
Episode 3
Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
10/6/2003
Episode 4
If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
10/13/2003
Episode 5
The Last Thing You Want to Do Is Wind Up with a Hump
10/20/2003
Episode 6
Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
10/27/2003
Episode 7
If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
11/3/2003
Episode 8
Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snootful
11/10/2003
Episode 9
Phase One, Complete
11/17/2003
Episode 10
Merry Thanksgiving
11/24/2003
Episode 11
Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
12/15/2003
Episode 12
Camel Filters + Pheromones
1/5/2004
Episode 13
Sarah Like Puny Alan
1/13/2004
Episode 14
I Can't Afford Hyenas
2/2/2004
Episode 15
Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
2/9/2004
Episode 16
That Was Saliva, Alan
2/16/2004
Episode 17
Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
2/23/2004
Episode 18
An Old Flame With a New Wick
3/1/2004
Episode 19
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
3/22/2004
Episode 20
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
4/19/2004
Episode 21
No Sniffing, No Wowing
5/3/2004
Episode 22
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
5/10/2004
Episode 23
Just Like Buffalo
5/17/2004
Episode 24
Can You Feel My Finger?
5/24/2004
Specials
Episode 1
Original Pilot - Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal
Not Available
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